“You better come and get your laptop – we’re shutting the office due to the coronavirus pandemic” barked my boss down the phone.  A pang of shock rippled through me with the realisation that coronavirus had finally taken hold of London. 

Fear gripped me as the near empty tube carriage rumbled out of Moorgate station for my last trip home in who knows how long.  The stable axis of my life had suddenly tilted and I felt completely unprepared for what was to come.

Seemingly oblivious to the desperate hoarding of the previous weeks, I was painfully aware that I had no emergency food provisions if I got ill.  And nobody to call if I couldn’t get to the shops.  Why hadn’t I seen what was coming like everyone else?

Should I be fortunate enough to stay well, how would I cope with the isolation and loneliness of working from home until further notice.  How would I fill my days if I wasn’t out visiting businesses as my role required. How would I deal with the stifling suffocation of a tiny flat amidst the cacophony of endlessly creaking floorboards from my fellow incarcerated
inmates.

A sea of panic engulfed me as I dashed round Tesco’s mindlessly stuffing my trolley with whatever I could lay my hands on.  Hoarding is a primal urge – the relief of piling in tins of soup giving me a fleeting feeling of security in a suddenly insecure world.

Stocking the shelves of my fridge freezer at home, I felt more in control. I realised I had two choices.  I could become paralysed with fear and anxiety in the face of this crisis or I could choose to change my behaviour and build my resilience.

Psychologists define resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress.”

I’ve really struggled when my emotional equilibrium is rocked.  In recent times, a neighbour dispute, family illness and stock market instability have all caused my anxiety levels to rocket.

Obsessive rumination, sleepless nights and a desolate feeling of seeing no way out have characterized my response to my life challenges to date.    In the face of this unprecedented threat, it was clear that I needed much better coping strategies to survive what was to come.

Building new routines during the coronavirus pandemic

I couldn’t control the situation I was facing but I could control my response to it.  My first act of resilience was to set up new daily routines that would help me to focus on my own reality rather than fixate on the wider, global horrors. In times of stress, exercise has always been my greatest coping strategy.

My day now starts with fifteen minutes of yoga just prior to starting work.  At lunchtime, I down my tools and join the global endorphin fix that is PE with Joe Wickes.  To end my working day and escape the confines of my flat, I take a walk through the woods to savour the soothing balm of spring. 

The transition of the seasons provides an endless reminder that life carries on despite the havoc that is happening around us. The defiant magnolia buds opening up and the green parakeets chirping in the trees raise my spirits and remind me that these miraculous seasonal events will carry on long after the coronavirus pandemic is as distant as Spanish flu.

Seizing new personal projects and challenges

Sticking firmly to what is within my control – I am seizing the opportunity to try new projects and challenges.  Coronavirus has given me the gift of time.  Thanks to losing the commute, I now have an additional ten hours a week to spend on developing myself and giving meaning to my life. 

Rather than chucking a ready meal into the microwave while ravenous on my return from work, I’m now making three new recipes a week. This grounding daily ritual is helping to not only calm me but build my confidence by expanding my limited culinary horizons. It is also a reminder of the preciousness of our food supplies and the importance of eating wholesome home-cooked meals to boost immunity at this time.

Other small personal victories have included embracing online banking and battling with zoom conferencing to establish essential daily contact with work colleagues.  I’ve also volunteered for additional Coronavirus-related work tasks with no idea what this could entail.  As someone who has always stuck rigidly to safe and very limited boundaries – these seemingly small changes in behaviour mark a huge leaps in my personal development.

Reframing the negative to positive during the coronavrius pandemic

In times of crisis, there are always silver linings and reframing the negative to positive is possibly one of the biggest challenges of this experience. In addition to the gift of time, I am extremely fortunate to now have more money – thanks to interest rates on my mortgage dropping and no longer having the expense of a daily commute.  I am painfully aware that this might not always be the case and certainly isn’t the case for others.

I’m also getting to know my neighbours for the first time in ten years.  Yesterday I chatted to a neighbour through her bathroom window. Another neighbour who is an accomplished musician has opened her doors to serenade us with the soothing strains of Bach.  The term we’re all in this together has never run more true than today. 

National and global communities are also flourishing with initiatives such as “clap for carers” taking root on a weekly basis. And the rough sleepers who I guiltily walk past every day on my way to work now thankfully have hotel rooms. Who could ever imagine that happening in pre-Coronavirus days?

Developing gratitude during the coronavirus pandemic

When faced with alarming death rates creeping up every day, Coronavirus has reminded me of the precious brevity of life.  A daily gratitude list compiled at bedtime is a timely reminder of all the things that I have to be grateful for despite the pandemic. It also forces me to plan all the things that I still want to do with my life before it ends – as we’re now starkly reminded could happen at any moment.

When anxiety jolts me awake at 3.00am, thinking of all those who have endured war helps me keep things in perspective. For most of us, home is a safe sanctuary that shields us from the virus, not somewhere that could be bombed at a moment’s notice.

Queuing for the supermarket is a walk in the park compared to the rigours or war-time rationing. I am truly grateful that we are facing a pandemic and not a war.

Finally, Coronavirus has given us all the gift to pause and reflect on what is really important in our lives. Is my job giving me fulfilment?  Do I want to return to a two-hour daily commute?  When all this is over what sort of normal do I want to return to?

There is no denying that the pandemic has shaken our lives to their very foundations but it is up to us to make the changes to keep moving forward in spite of the very stark struggles we face.