Fabulously flamboyant and creatively kitsch, Sarastro has been on my post-work dining wish list for a long time. Situated in the heart of London’s Theatreland, the famous eaterie is a golden grotto stuffed to the rafters with the most eye-popping curiosities. Add to the mix a talented trio of musicians and a dash of erotic art and you get the feeling anything could happen. Donning my glad-rags, I tottered along to join the show after the show.
Office Breaks Sarastro
Peering out from under a covering of glossy, green foliage, Sarastro jumps out at you like Chelsea Flower Show on steroids. From the blossoming pianos to the rusting bicycles, a magical world is unveiled. Swerving past the red velvet tablecloth, I fully expect the Mad Hatter to welcome me at the door. Instead, I’m met by a dark, muscular man with a pony tail and a twinkle in his eye. Would he be popping out of a canon in time for desserts?
Office Breaks Sarastro
Entering the grotto, a sea of Tiffany lamps glint like jewels from the ceiling, casting eerie shadows over the motley crew of witches, devils and goats that spring up from every surface. As a party of twenty, we’re seated on the main stage surrounded by private gold-painted balconies and cosy alcoves, perfect for clandestine love affairs.
Julie Gibson Sarastro Restaurant
Taking the weight off my work heels with a sigh of relief, I note with a smile the magician’s napkin which appears about to pirouette on the plate in front of me. With a flourish, the red velvet tablecloth is soon covered with a generous array of eight Turkish mezze dishes along with plentiful baskets of bread. The tangy red onion Kisir is the winner while the other traditional mezze staples are safe and traditional without being sensational.
Karla Lopez Sarastro Restaurant
Arriving in post-work starvation mode, we make the fatal error of stuffing ourselves in the first act. Choosing the lightest option for the main course, I opt for the red-pepper stuffed sea bream with mashed potatoes and black caviar sauce. Just as we’re about to get stuck in, the band magically appears and a medley of jazz numbers gets the party started.
The fish is deliciously fresh and provides the perfect foil to the spicy peppers and capers. The black caviar sauce consists of a few strategically-placed granules but for a £32.00 set menu what else would you expect? As a blues number gets under way, I feel my toes tapping under the table as I gaze coquettishly at Mr Muscle who is shimmying up and down balconies balancing plates.
Su-Lin Sarastro Restaurant
Having polished off our main act, the dessert menu offers little to tempt us, (Turkish Delight would have been a welcome addition) and only one brave diner opts for the heavy-weight Black Forest Gateau.
Excusing myself from the table, I make my way to the ladies and notice with surprise the separate children’s toilet. Opening the door to the ladies with a gasp I soon realise why. Adorning the walls, ceilings and sink cabinets are fifty shades of amateur dramatics that would raise a blush with Mr Grey. In the queue for the cubicles, a revered silence descends as jaws drop open at the antics before us. (Too naughty to show on this blog so you’ll have to visit them yourself).
Office Breaks Sarastro
As we each return to the table with a knowing wink to our fellow diners, the toilets become the main talking point of the evening. As the music picks up tempo an air of anticipation builds. But as it’s now 10.00pm, we’re all exhausted and with work tomorrow, I decide my dance with the strongman will have to wait for another visit. Who knows what might happen on a weekend night.
What’s your strangest dining experience? I would love to hear where you’ve been.